Steven Myers explores the clashes between cultural and Biblical views of what a man is. Tune in as he debunks myths and highlights healthy habits for men.
Steven Myers, real-estate guru, joins me on the podcast this week to talk about what culture calls a man vs. what the Bible says a man is. We cover healthy habits that men should be practicing in their daily lives and how they can become better husbands, fathers, and men in general. Lastly, we cover the everyday lies that the world tries to tell men and how we can combat those lies and persevere through life's hardships and struggles that all men go through.
With a clear vision, a competitive focus and a passion for serving other, Steve Myers strives to build a strong reputation though hard work, client advocacy, and innovative thinking. Steve sets expectations high. His friendly demeanor and unwavering dedication to clients is one of the keys to his success.
STEVEN'S SOCIALS
https://www.linkedin.com/in/steven-myers-870645a/
STEVEN'S WEBSITE
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Today's culture and the Bible disagree on a lot of things. Today, we dive into what culture says a man is vs. what the Bible does. Steven Myers and I discuss healthy habits that men should put in their everyday lives and also talk about lies that the world tries to tell men nowadays.
With a clear vision, a competitive focus, and a passion for serving others, Steve Myers strives to build a strong reputation through hard work, client advocacy, and innovative thinking. Steve sets expectations high. His friendly demeanor and unwavering dedication to clients is one of the keys to his success.
I have a good friend on the show with me named Steve Myers. He's out of near Nashville, Tennessee. He's a real estate broker that deals with luxury homes. He’s successful. We're going to dive into what culture says a man is in masculinity versus what the Bible says a man is designed to be in masculinity. We're going to dive deep. This is a very deep conversation with Steve. He's been on this journey for of growing into the man that God designed him to be, to living out this most fulfilled life. This is what we're all about here at Iron Deep. This is why we had The Men’s Awakening to awaken men to live out their most fulfilled life under God's design.
This is a very powerful message that Steve's going to give to you. Pay attention. Take notes, whatever you need to do to get the most out of this episode. Also, go over to our website, IronDeep.com. We're going to have some new events coming up. We're thinking about brainstorming what type of events we will do. Also, what will this community look like with Iron Deep? If you guys have any feedback, I would love for you guys to email me at Brett@IronDeep.com. I love to know that. Go over to the Iron Deep YouTube channel. We have videos coming out each and every week on that as well. Without further ado, here is Mr. Steve Myers.
Brett, how are you?
I'm doing fantastic. If you guys haven't heard of JH Ranch, this is where I met Steve. It's a teen dad, teen camp, dads and sons, and dads and daughters. It's in California. That's where we met. Can you give me a little commercial on JH Ranch? People haven't heard of JH Ranch that have a teen child, Steve.
Yes, for sure. It's in Aetna, California, which is in Northern California. It's about as far North as you can go in the state, and it's in the base of the Klamath Forest, and it is an evangelical camp that has a component that's father and daughter or father and son, and then their mothers. There are programs for mothers as well. It’s from age thirteen, basically through high school. It’s an adventure camp where everything has a great spiritual message.
It's a strong Bible-based evangelical worshipful camp that creates all special bonds and memories between parents and kids. It challenges you, pushes you to your limits and helps you face and conquer battles. I couldn't endorse it any more highly than I do, but it was funny. Do you remember the name tags? It was funny when I was grabbing that. I'm like, “I'm meeting with Brett and there's my name tag.”
I've talked about JH on this show before. Yes, if you have a teen child, son, or daughter, it's a great place to go build that special bond with the Lord and with your child. I couldn't highly recommend it. We did whitewater rafting, high ropes courses, and screaming eagle stuff. People don't know what that is, but you will if you go. It was a great time. That's where I met Steve. I wanted to put that out there.
He slept on the bottom bunk. I slept on the top. That is the sleeping coordinates there. It was pretty awesome. Steve, thanks again for being on the show. I’m looking forward to this episode. I know you're a business owner, entrepreneur, live in Tennessee, and deal with luxury real estate. We've talked about that a little bit. You also do develop or deal with developers and investments, as that's your business. Give a little bit of a background of our audience. Who is Steve Myers?
Yes, I've been in Nashville since 1986. I moved down here after college and spent my first 10 years as a film producer, which was a wonderful 10 years, but the 80, 90-hour work weeks, I burnt out on that. I had my real estate license because I loved old homes and was fixing them up, and one thing led to another. I made the eventual turn from being a film producer to being a full-time real estate agent.
I've been doing that for many years. I got married a little later in life. I met my wife, Amanda. We got married when I was 40 and she was 35. We went through premarital counseling because she was told she could never have children, and we got pregnant on her honeymoon. It's been a wild ride ever since. We had two daughters. We live in Franklin, which is right outside of Nashville. I live a blessed life.
I got the chance to meet Sophia. She's probably the most adventurous child I've met. She was doing Ultimate Ninja Warrior, American Ninja Warrior out there. She was climbing everywhere. It was crazy. Amazing kids you have. You've talked about your wife a lot as well. You are a blessed. In your bio, you went in that order. You were a follower of Christ, father, husband, realtor, and creator. This show is going to be a little bit different. A lot of times, we talk and dive into business things. I've been entrenched lately on what does it mean to be a man, to have the masculinity in our culture?
What does that mean and does culture say about that versus what the Bible says? It's what we're going to dive into. I got back from our very first Men’s Awakening retreat, Iron Deep. It's fresh in my mind, all these things. Steve, you've been diving into this as well. Can you speak a bit about your journey into this and what it was about you started to explore what was missing in your life, and now you're on this journey of growth to living out this most fulfilled life? Start back. What was that time, and what was it in your life?
I've always had a longing for self-improvement. It's the way that I was born, as part of my nature. I've always felt there was more to this life than I saw any of my friends or anybody in my church living. I felt there was a bigger purpose in design than I knew how to live. I didn't even know what that meant. It was a longing that was deep within me.
In 2018, I was exposed to some teaching by a very unconventional man who wasn't a Christian at that time, who is now, which is another super cool story. His message resonated with me to the point that I was almost led to tears. He was saying that, as men, we need to quit pushing ourselves in sedated places. We need to acknowledge that God created us to be powerful and to be warriors for him.
What blocked that progression was what culture has told us that we should be rather than who God has told us we should be. That started a journey for me in 2018 that I'm still pursuing in full force. What helped define this for me was to reframe my story about who I am under the umbrella of who did God create us as men to be. Does that make sense?
Yes, definitely. Before we get into that, because we talked about that before the show about what does it look like? God designed us in a certain way to be more, is what you called it, than what we're currently doing and what a lot of men are currently doing. We can go ahead and say that the program is called Warrior. I've seen some messages from that program as well.
What was it that resonated with you? You talked about men that sometimes go to sedated places for healing, possibly, or to escape, and they're listening to certain lies. Can you dive into that a little bit more about what are some of the lies that you see men believe or what you believe? Dig a little bit deeper into that. What were some of the things that maybe you personally or you've seen other men go to try to get healing or escape?
Yes. One of the cool discoveries of this is if we, as men, are honest with ourselves, we put on this facade, this front, but deep down in, we think that we're not worthy. We're not capable. We're worthless and we're not good enough. I used to think that message was unique to myself. As I started working with groups of men, powerful, successful men, everybody believed that.
Nobody wants to admit it. We choose to stand in this place where we think we're the only person with these insecurities. We put on a game face. We put on a front. What that does is it causes us to block resolution to that. The realization that almost every man has some version of what they tell themselves that holds them back is the starting point.
I did a talk at our Men’s Awakening retreat about that same thing about insecurities, some of my own insecurities, and then how did I deal with that? What have you seen? You talked about men sedating themselves. What are some of the things that you commonly see men go to when they have this not worthiness, this insecurity, don't know who they are without something, without a title, or nature? What do people dive into and go into to sedate themselves that you've seen?
There are two extremes. You've got the very successful businessmen who will immerse themselves in business and business success at the peril of their relationship with God or with their family. Sometimes they're extremely out of shape, and they put all their focus on one area rather than trying to live a well-balanced life.
The more common default, and we see it, we even see it in our churches. It's like let's deny ourselves and our feelings. You often see that with people who drink excessively or eat excessively. Sometimes we think that these great big obese people are better off than the alcoholic. In one way, they are. It's the same thing. It's going to a substance to make yourself feel better in the moment.
It could be porn or it could be watching too much television. It could be a slothful lifestyle. It could be an Uber retriever in one area all the way to let's put on the big screen TV and get a six-pack of beer and let's chill. At some level, that's okay. A lot of men are conditioned to live that way their entire life. I call that sedation because it lets you escape. It gives you a hall pass on accepting reality, and you live in your own little cave. You wake up every day and you do it over again. You get to the end of your life and you're like, “Where am I at? What have I done?”
In 2018, you had some of this inside of you. You had this longing to want something more that maybe you had more of a purpose in this life to live a more fulfilled life, but you couldn't quite put your finger on it. You got around other men, and you figured out you're not alone. You're not weird that other guys are also obviously going through this. Before 2018, what did your life look like? I know you're still on this journey, we're all on this journey, but what were some of the things that maybe you did or that you gravitated towards? Can you talk about before you started to take hold of this and get radically honest with yourself and live in truth?
Yes. Before 2018, I was living a good life. We were very involved in church groups and people. There was nothing terribly wrong, but there was nothing terribly powerful either. It felt like there should be so much more. I'm trying to figure out how to say this, Brett. To this day, I have great friends that I respect so much, but this message doesn't resonate with a lot of them. If it does, they haven't figured out how to apply it to their lives. I didn't have role models in my churches, friend groups, or workgroups that were pursuing this path.
I was living a good life. I was very involved and was not a bad man, but I was not powerful. I wasn't checked out, either. I wasn't walking in power. When you look at the model of Jesus, a lot of people think that Jesus was this peaceful, humble dude that walked around and preached good things, and they felt to see him as a warrior for God who was counterculture, who gave his life for us. Defining us in his image makes us a more aggressive, powerful man than a lot of churches want to acknowledge through that same light.
We, as Christians, study Jesus. We study what He did and a lot of people want to bear more of his image and to be more like him. In order to do that, you have to look at his lifestyle. That's one of the reasons why we started Iron Deep. We got back from the mountain because Jesus would go. Just like JH, we would go to the mountain and he would be with his Father and He'd come back and do his ministry. There are some parallels to that.
If you want to be more Christ, then start looking at his lifestyle, what he did do, and look at his disciplines. That's something I've been doing personally. It sounds like that's what you've been doing too, Steve. You talked about wanting more and having this longing to be more of who God designed you to be. Can you dive into that now? You had this point. You wanted more power in your life, and then 2018 and around that time, you started to go after that. What did you find out about what God was saying to you biblically about your life and design?
We are all created as sons and daughters. We are created in His image. That's the starting point of this journey. For me, everything has to lead to action. If you're going to walk in power and be hands and feet for God on this Earth, you're going to be salt and light in this world, you've got to be willing to take a stand. Not only take a stand but take a knee to God, to surrender to Him, to deny yourself.
I've been taught that all my life, but I could never find practical application to that until I embraced this journey that I'm on right now. This whole denying yourself sounds so easy, but it's so difficult because we were prideful, sinful and self-righteous at a level that it's so deep that we can't even see it. The first crack in that veneer for me was with my wife, Amanda. We had a great marriage, but during times of conflict, I realized that I wasn't focusing on what I wanted, which was a meaningful Christian marriage modeling Christ's relationship with a church.
It's not that I do it perfectly now, but there was a point where I started having to look at rather than being right in the moment, I had to focus on what I wanted long-term. That was the crack in the veneer of how you surrender to God. My journey continually evolves from that first lesson of surrender to now, when I hear from Him, I have to take a knee to Him. I actually find joy in being able to offload my stuff and fill it with what He wants. On a scale of 1 to 10, I'm probably sitting at 2 right now because there's so much more that I could be doing learning, but at least I see that path now.
Let's dive in a little bit more about everything that leads to action. That's a powerful statement. A lot of times, in the church world, we're saved by grace, not by works, but then there are verses about your works too. If you have faith, you produce works. What does that look like for you to know how you're designed, know who you are and you're a son of the king? Everything leads to action. What were some of the things that maybe you started to do, and you have to start off small? What were some of the things that you started to take action in when you started to realize who you were in Christ and how He designed you?
The action and the very beginnings of this for me is to stay in prayer and in His word and meditation. I understand that I'm not a consumer of that. I don't do that to feel good. I do that to commune with Him. It sounds silly but for the first half of my life, I didn't go to prayer with Him expecting to hear things. I was asking things. I wasn't expecting answers because the churches that I went to said, “You need to worship. You need to come raise your hands in the ear we did with JH,” which is wonderful.
You go to Bible studies with other groups. You study the Bible, and you go to to men's groups. You hug each other. You have warm and fuzzies. That is more of a consumer rather than a producer. I don't think many churches teach you how to go into action. I would say, at a very basic level, you need to go before your heavenly Father with the anticipation that He's going to lead you. He's not there to make you feel good or to learn about Him, which we are called to do.
He's charging you with being hands and feet, salt and light into the world. What I had to give my permission to do was to speak the truth because I was so afraid that I might insult somebody or say the wrong thing. At the very beginning, it was like God was calling me to speak. It sounds so simple. That was a real change for me. It was to feel comfortable speaking my own truth and giving up what people thought of it.
I love that you said that you started to go to His word and to prayer just to be in communion with Him, to communion with him, to be in a relationship. Not to check off the box, not to feel a little bit better. “I prayed today. I read my Bible today. That's done. Now I can go on with the rest of my day,” but to build more intimacy with Him and to hear from Him. We did this thing out at the Men’s Awakening. It was a listening prayer, which was interesting.
That was more of what we'd listened to see if we could have an imprint on our hearts or what God might be speaking to us. Rather than prayer, we're asking for things. That is building more of that intimacy with God and expecting Him to guide you, expecting Him to show up. I love that. You talked about your wife, Amanda, and surrender. Obviously, there was some healing there. Is there anything else that you started to do as far as disciplines? It doesn't always have to be prayer and the word either, but in your personal life, leading you to a more fulfilling life?
The other major component of this was to focus on having a well-rounded life. The group that I'm involved with is a business coaching group. That's the purpose. We're there to help each other build good businesses, but it's under the foundation that you have to have a strong relationship with God and hear from him. You have to seek Him and do what He tells you to do because even in business, He will lead you. To have a strong business, you've got to have a great relationship with God. Your family, we have to be together. We're stewards of our wives and our children.
We have to pour into them, and they have to be fulfilled. They have to be growing with you. The other component of that this particular business program is your body. It's the vessel for your soul. Without health, you're compromised on all fronts. If you have a good relationship with God, a strong family and a strong body, then okay, let's lean into the business world. Even if one of those quadrants is out of whack, they're all out of whack to a certain degree. That was the beginnings of this.
I know you've been working on your health, even at JH. You've been working on your health, nutrition, and fitness. I've seen a lot of others, especially business guys, sacrifice their health and their nutrition. They put that on the back burner. What's that been like when you've started to get your body and health right?
You have more energy. You have more clarity, and you're a happier person. You're more tolerant with clients or family when there are spicy moments. I feel it is a time commitment. It's a discipline, but what you get in return is much greater than the sacrifices you make to do it. I have a fitness coach independent of the program we've been talking about. He programs my workouts every week and follows my steps, what I'm eating, and my resting heart rate. Everything is dialed in. I'm doing it at a super high level. I feel so much better.
We put so much intention and emphasis on our business, but you've started to do that in these other areas of your life. It sounds like the same as you do in your business. Is that what you've been putting a lot of focus on: your health, spiritual life, business and family?
Yes, for sure. I've got a metric dashboard that I use every day, where I feed into those, and it's my checklist. I've reached out to my family. I've done my work. Everything is a system. Every day there's a focus on all four.
I want to tag on this. There's this community. It sounds like you have a pretty strong community. Did you have a strong community before getting into the Warrior program?
Yes, I did, but it was not a very powerful community. I've got a fantastic family. They live pretty close to where you live. I was up there. I have a great family, but I live 400 miles away from them. I'm only with them 3, 4 or 5 times a year. In Nashville, I have my work and church associates, which are great people. Even to this day, Brett, I’m challenged to find people who, outside of this business coaching program that I'm in, see life through the same lens that I see it now.
I wouldn't say it's lonely, but I have to be self-motivated when I'm away from the other people who are living this lifestyle. I know what I'm learning is what the church needs because the church needs a wake-up call to be more relative, more powerful, follow Christ at a deeper level, and be His hands and feet. My hope is to, little bit by a little bit, take this to my communities. We'll see how that goes.
I know you've been traveling a lot. You have this vision for this fulfilled life. I've seen that as you go back from London with your family. These are pieces of maybe your fulfillment. Is that correct?
That is correct. It's interesting, as I've been spending time with God and in the word, He told me to take my family to London. That wouldn't have happened years ago. There are bits and pieces with JH. I feel Him pushing me in that direction. I try my best. When He tells me to do something, I do it. Even if it doesn't make sense, I take it in faith and move. That glorifies Him and challenges me to stay in tune with Him.
Steve, is there anything that you want to tell our audience, the things that you've learned? You've obviously gone on this journey and you're still on this journey. Any type of advice that you would give that man that's reading right now? You're speaking to him and he's in that place that you were at in 2018.
Yes. Don't accept the status quo as normal. If you've got a longing deep down in that's not satisfied, don't say, “That's okay.” Pursue it. Brett, it is funny. I got to know you a few days before I knew that you had Iron Deep. I got to know you outside of being a coach and a leader in this arena. It was fun. It was like, “You’re kidding. That was wonderful.” Lean into Iron Deep. Truly seek expansion to become a better version of yourself and don't say it's okay to have these longings and not do anything with them. Chase it.
Thanks, Steve, for being on the podcast. It's a pleasure. I wish you so much success in business, family health, and your spiritual walk. Thank you so much.
Same to you.
